Don't call me Crispy

So I went to the shop on Sunday which I never do. It is hot as all hell in KC right now and I had the doors open and am trying to work. I was finishing up a new sissy bar for my blue bike and I look up. There is a super drunk black lady looking at me from the gate. She says to me" I just want to say Jesus loves you". I say thanks or something and then say does Jesus know your drunk? She then says" Jesus does not give a fuck if I am Drunk he loves me anyway". I start laughing and wondering when she is gonna freak out on me. She looks at me and now says" Jesus doesn't care that you are a freak, tattoo'd, drug addict, biker dude" I start laughing even harder at this comment. Anyways after about five minutes of this crazy talk she stops and looks right in my eyes and says you need a nickname. "Crispy" that is your new nickname. I say fuck no noone is calling me Crispy. She starts laughing and offers me a drink from the flask she has between her boobs. Mind you it is 11 in the morning and she is just leaving morning services. Good Times. Don',t call me Crispy