Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Super Mega Sturgis Post

Well folks I'm back from my whirl wind Sturgis trip. Basically if you start at the top and go down that is the whole trip in a time line.

Day 1. Left my house about 7 in the a.m.. Bike was packed down and I was a ball of nerves. Clouds were heavy and I thought within 10 miles it would be pouring on me. Well I was wrong and instead of rain it was just unseasonably cold. I was fucking freezing for the first 5 hours but when I did hit rain it was only enough to get my knees wet then I popped out into the first sun I had seen all day. First reality check of the day came when the freeway north of Sioux City was at a dead stop. Luckily for me it had backed up right to the off ramp, so I took the right and got gas. I guess a spare tire off of a truck fell onto the freeway and killed a couple on there motorcycle. Terrifying to say the least. Took a bunch of back roads and made my way around the accident. Met Noot in Beresford, SD at 1:00 in the p.m. We were all ready to hit the road like Capt. America and Billy but it was changed to Captain Fluffy and the Whizz. Good fucking times hanging out with Noot. So we made our way to Platte SD all on two lane blacktop and was a great way to see SD and see the country. I guess it has been raining a lot because everything was green and beautiful. Weather was perfect and we arrived about 4. Easy first day, rode about 500 miles and we ate pizza then stayed up talking motorbikes with all the other people on there way to Sturgis

 Day 2. Holy shit we woke to a unholy shit storm of rain and lightning. After a few hours it lets up enough to get the rain suits out and make a go at it. Seriously with in 10 miles of leaving the rain cleared out and the roads were dry. Starting the second day I was a little groggy and still wanting more coffee. As we really got into SD the roads got twisty and the hills got bigger making for a amazing morning. I pretty much had to stop at every fucking gas station we came across so that meant about every hour we stopped. Makes for a long day. We crossed the Badlands of SD and stopped at the sketchiest gas station in the world. Every thing in it was locked up behind gates. I mean everything. I guess the local native american population are super fucking poor and get there kicks by snorting lysol and drinking lighter fluid. WTF. Scary for sure as you ride down the highway you can see the reservation and the little shanty towns made out of plywood and tarps. I would probably end up snorting Lysol to if I had to live in a third world state while the first world lets it happen. Our government is fucked and it has never been so apparent. All the black folks that bitch about there lot in life don't have shit to say till they see how these AMERICANS live. Ok so on the next chapter. Well like all good trips they usually start with a BREAKDOWN. It just so happens that the only part on the entire Shovel that I did not change or fuck with was the regulator. Take a wild guess where that regulator decided to shit out on me. The South Dakota Badlands that's fucking where. In the middle of nowhere USA. I had to stop at a road construction sign and when I pushed in the clutch the bike just died. Noot was ahead of me and did not see me pull over. By the time he came back I had already checked the battery. 6.09. Dead battery indeed. Was it the battery, regulator, or stator? Well there was nothing I was gonna be able to do on the side of the road. So Noot peg pushed me about 2 miles to the next gas stop. There must have been a hundred bikes there and me pushing my bike into the station. That is where PoonTail and his wife come into the picture. As we are there pulling the battery out to try and charge it Poontail comes up and basically offers to haul the bike into Sturgis and I could ride the wife's FLHX into town. We are still about 100 miles from Sturgis but with no idea what the real problems is  we load the Whizz up and I'm riding a white with purple paneled Bagger. While I am throwing my tools back on the bike Poon goes and fills the bike up and has it ready for me. Fucking awesome. So for the first time in my life I am riding a full on couch down the road. I have to say I hated every second of it and the seat wasn't much better then my seat. I didn't even know they had 6 gears so I kept just shifting up and up and up and up. Felt like I shifted it a thousand times. Like my four speed for sure. So we follow Poontail to there camp sight and drop off the bike and they are gonna drop my bike off where we are staying in Sturgis downtown. I can't say enough nice things about these two fine folks. They went out of there way like miles and miles to help out a chopper freak and I appreciated it so much. I wasn't bummed out or anything I knew I could get it fixed I just needed to find a regulator. So probably the funniest thing about the whole trip was Noot and I riding nuts to butts on his bike trying to find a regulator. People yelled , people took pictuers, girls screamed. It was fucking ridiculous having two grown ass men riding two up, but we got the part and I was on my way to riding to the Horse show for Monday. 
 So we got the part and we were supposed to have VIP passes for the Michael Lichter show at the FTS. Well we didn't but we named dropped our way in and got to see the Ton Up show before the public did. So cool and I really liked the ZON Sportster and the Vincent. I took a bunch of pics so look close. We ended up crashing out to the sounds of yucky motorcycles all night long.

 Day 3. Test stator, charged battery, and replaced regulator. All is right with world. As for the entire trip all I had to do was the regulator and adjust my chain. I did spring a leak on the transmission but that was no biggie. All is right with world on Monday. Weather is perfect and I got to drink a lot of coffee. We took off and went to the swap meet then headed out to the Horse Show. Well if they would have had any rules there would have been about 50 bikes in a show. But with all the terrible garbage there was easily 200+ bikes. Met some Anchor fans and Noot met some Noot fans and I have to say I had a pretty great day. Met some new friends and of course they had cool bikes and we met eye to eye so that is always cool. Noot won a fucking trophy with Capt. Fluffy and rightfully so. That 64 of his is classy and runs like the clappers even with two dudes on it. Ha After the Horse show we went and chilled out a little. Noot went back out to the FTS and I went to the strip to people watch. Man people are fucking retarded. I was saying that it looked like everybody was dressed up like a biker for Halloween. Fucking stupid sheep look a like ride the same bike wastoids. Never seen so many drunk people in one place. Whatever they would not understand what I am saying anyways so the jokes on me I guess. 

Day 4. Wake up and burnout. Decided I had had enough of the biker lifestyle and wanted to get back on the riding lifestyle. Wanted to take two days to get home that way I could stop and see some stuff and then not be so tired when I got home. Well like most plans they got thrown to the wind and by the time I had got out of the state of SD I was ready to stop. I tried to get a hotel room but they wanted 85 dollars a night and that is too fucking much. Even the cheap places were like 55, So the longer I rode the miles just peeled away and before I really had a grasp on it I was at my last gas stop in Saint Joseph, Mo. I had left Sturgis at about 7:30 a.m. and rode into my driveway at 10:30 that night. Some kind of new record for me. Ended up doing right under 800 miles in one go. Granted I did stop a lot in the a.m. By the afternoon I was doing full speed ahead and the shovel ran perfect.

Overview of Sturgis:
 If you like sitting in traffic on your bike, Affliction clothing, Baggers in all shapes and sizes, baggers on trailers, fake tits, old tits, gross tits, 5 dollar bottles of water, 80's metal, strippers, douche bags, and thousand and thousand of assholes then Surgis is for you

If you like riding your bike, hanging with friends, people watching, trying to find one cool bike out of a thousand, talking shop, riding on the back of a Sportster, and following through with plans, Sturgis can also be for you.
Anchor is out of it still.


  1. Fuck man, awesome recollections and shots, kindred spirit on so many levels, love it all. Stoked the Whizz was a winner, thanks for a great window to your world.

  2. Nice meeting you and Noot, glad you made it home ok!

  3. great post and thanx for the recap...what was your route back to home? i will probly make my way up there one of these years, but not for the rally...gonna take all US and State Hwys and see the sites in KS, NE, WY, and SD...something along these lines for a route filled with camping