Friday, January 18, 2013

Top 5 Saturday

 So I am heading up to Keokuk once again. This time I am picking up my tins from Michael aka Flying Weasel Garage. So stoked to have him do these for me. Not really ever in my budget to pay for painting but this is a special bike for me so the best will only do. So I am feeling especially grumpy so my top 5 for Saturday will be the top 5 reasons people/things should FUCK OFF. This should be pretty funny

1. Your hip and just got your first bike. You feel like a bad ass and the world is your oyster. The rules no longer apply and every girl you meet will be happy to just get naked for you. Work , fuck work you ride a bike now who needs work. You bought a shit load of chrome bolt-ons from your local shop and your bike looks bling and pop all over the place. Fuck Off 

2. Yeah I built this bike. What you meant to say was someone like me did all the work and then you sprayed some flat black on the tins and that was it. Putting the bars on does not count as building a bike. Horse Shit and Fuck Off.

3.I want something reliable. Let me tell you about reliable. My Ironhead did thousands of miles over the last three years and has only left me stranded do to Chinese regulators. Since replacing the Chinese shit with a USA made Cycle Electronics regulator there has been 0 issues. I could build 4 ironheads for the price of one used softail. True as of late I have been wanting a newer Sportster to Hot Rod but  I would be taking a reliable stock bike and making it a fire breathing exploding time bomb. Everyone that hates on Ironheads just hasn't taking the time to learn how to tune and maintain them. So Fuck Off.

4. I truly believe in the power and romance of a motorcycle. I feel like before I started this bike craziness there was nothing. I went years with out bikes and just built cars but until I built from a pile of shit my first chopper I did not know what love of a bike was. The blood that you lose is like the sacrifice of a virgin. The money you spend is about time and the investment of ones soul. The journey is the destination, not the place you end up. Tripping is the word, just getting out in the world and smelling the smells, letting the sun burn you a little. I am still thinking about the last good ride I took out to the river and gravel roads. That is enough to get me through till spring I suppose. I did go ride the Crack Pipe today. Freezing ass cold but  it rode like a champ. So here is where I say get out there and ride that fucking bike or FUCK OFF. 

5. Life will show you a truth and in the next second smack the shit out of you.  Money, friendship, sex, love, relationships, motorcycles, etc etc are all within arms reach and then again they can be swiped away in a blink of an eye.Pretty girls get ugly, ugly girls get pretty, Kids grow up, parents die, money is spent and time never quits. So to father time I say FUCK OFF


  1. Yee fucking ha dude, one of the best, hope the Pipe blast was a good hit, I'll go back to nursing my sunburn after a day on my rubberglide skirtster with no bling, pop or sunscreen.

  2. Jealous of the reverse world you live in. Maybe not actually I am not a big fan of snakes. The ride was great and today is supposed to be almost 60 out so I am gonna run a tank through her.